Whether you have started dating or not, this is an important talk about dating in our current culture. Listen to this presentation and take notes. When you are finished, analyze the presentation by discussing the type of diction used and how that establishes the tone of the piece. Does Jason Evert use imagery or figurative language? Give examples of each. Also identify any shifts in the presentation and explain how they enhance his message. Then, give an overall reaction to the talk.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/810680/LH_Y_27-How_To_Date_Your_Soulmate.mp3
In Jason Evert’s talk entitled “How to Date Your Soulmate” he essentially outlines the virtuous ways to date. He highlights the importance of loving ourselves and God as well as selflessly loving our partner inside and out. Selflessness is a huge factor in the relationship that Evert describes because we must be willing to compromise and grow with our partner. The most interesting aspect of Evert’s talk, however, was his ability to make a chaste and healthy relationship seem more appealing than the relationships we perceive today. His method was to outline the ten things to do and to not do when dating someone in a way that not only reflected his faith but also his understanding of human nature.
ReplyDeleteThe real beauty in Evert’s talk was that his tone reflected the type of relationship we should all be striving for – it was comfortable and jovial while still being respectful and tender and not at all forced. He supported his ten points with imagery through anecdotes and facts that allowed the listener to visualize the reward we could receive in a relationship where we not only respected our partner but also our self. The scientific facts he presented built an argument that could be applicable not only to a follower of God but also to someone who is lacking in faith. The benefit of this was to show that not only is it proven through God and the actions of others that loving, chaste, and respectful relationships are good but that it is also proven through the laws and studies of man. For example, Evert explains that oxytocin is a hormone released in women during sexual intercourse and child birth and that it forms and inexplicable bond in the woman’s mind to those around her when it occurs. This serves as proof that a physical relationship means so much more than we initially comprehend. It also reveals that women are more likely to trust someone once they have shared this kind of experience with them and, therefore, we must save physical relationships for those people that we are ready to be eternally bound to.
There was an obvious shift in Evert’s speech which occurred between the five things to do and the five things not to do when dating. However, there was also the less apparent transition between the comical and serious within his talk. This appeared to occur with each individual point – it would start out with a good-humored tale or idea and then it would filter into how that story applied to real life and real relationships. Evert never claimed that relationships would be easy – in fact he clearly stated that men and women “are not compatible.” The purpose of his honesty and of his entire presentation was to point out the importance of loving and respecting ourselves and our partner as well as choosing a partner who does the same. He expresses the purpose of single time, as he called it, was to “form yourself...form the world...and form your own soul.” What this means is that we must know ourselves and God before we know another and that we must find ourselves rather than loose ourselves or our loved ones in a truly healthy relationship.
I’ll be honest and say that I was entirely put off by the introduction to Evert’s speech. There was strange elevator music and I was being fed Catholicism, once again. And yet, by the time the presentation was over, I found that I had been disarmed and that, instead of forcing an idea upon me, Evert had made sense of things that already existed in my mind. What I mean to say is that I think we all look for love, just as Evert said. We all see an attractive person across the room and wonder if maybe they are the one or if we will ever find the one. There is so much pressure on finding love, and often in finding love in a physical way, that we forget to find ourselves and, yes, even God before we search for someone to spend the rest of our life with. The parts of Evert’s talk that really touched me were the serious moments within the pleasure of his comedic stories as well as the real facts that he presented that revealed the importance of saving the intimate connection of love for the person we will be bound to for life. I was impressed by how easy it was to listen to this and by how wrong the idea of love as society has presented it to me is.
DeleteAnn,
DeleteIt looks like we pulled a lot of the same points out of the talk. I really liked how you mentioned oxytocin and how it’s released. That was a big part of the discussion that I didn’t know. It makes a lot of sense that women release it and that’s why they seem to get more attached to a guy after making love than a guy grows attached to her. It also explains why there the bond between a mother and her child is so strong. As much as an emotional and spiritual relationship means, the mentioning of the release of oxytocin makes the act of a physical relationship so much less important to creating a strong foundation with a significant other and God. I have to completely agree with what you said about the fluidity between what to do and not to do in relationships intermixed with the comical and seriousness message he was trying to get across. I think you did an excellent job getting the main points across. Good work!
Ann,
DeleteI love how you focused your second paragraph on the scientific side of Everts podcast. That was probably my favorite part of his podcast and your blog as well. Before hand, I had known nothing about oxytocin and it was so interesting and relevant in the way that Evert presented it. Not only that, but it really helped him to prove his point. I also thought it was interesting on how he said that the chemical is what is responsible for a mothers bond with the doctor who delivered their child. I guess when I think about it, I noticed a weird bond. Why would my aunt mention the doctors name every time we passed that specific hospital that my cousin was born? Why would my friend be named after the doctor who delivered her? I never really thought to make the connection, and I never thought the connection would have a scientific explanation.I really enjoyed the podcast, and I really enjoyed your blog. Keep up the good work!
Ann,
DeleteI was also put off at the beginning, and I was hesitant because I'm not the most Catholic being in the world, but I was completely impressed with his presentation. I really liked what you said the tone Evert used, and how it portrays the kind of relationship we should all strive for. I never made that connection, but I'm glad that you did! Also, I liked that you focused a lot on how Evert used scientific facts to back up what he was saying. I think that these guidelines can be associated with anyone, religious or not. When you look at the general ideas of the strategies, they are not religiously stated. For instance, his first point was to begin with a season of friendship, and his fourth was to meet the parents. Personally I think these are key objectives in any relationship that a lot of people know they should do, but they don't. Like you, I also really liked Evert's honesty. He used some of his own experiences, and I liked that. I really hate when people tell you what to do when they have never experienced anything like it. I feel like love is so complicated nowadays, and I really wish it wasn't. But, I now feel like I know what I want after listening to the presentation. Overall, this was such a great blog, Ann! Good work!
After the first couple of seconds listening to the podcast I knew exactly what I was going to hear. Josh Zelinski had won this cd at the pep rally. I don't know if he actually listened to it or not, but I do know that he should. Jason Evert is a very influencing speaker who makes valid points about relationships with God and our "soul mate" without throwing God in you face. What I mean by that is he isn't using Bible verse after Bible verse to get through to the audience. He is using realistic situations to show up that life isn't about finding someone just to have sex.
ReplyDeleteThere were two scenarios that really stood out to me. The first is when he used 127 Hours to describe love and the second is when he spoke about a little girl being abducted and tossed into a sewage ditch. 127 Hours is an excellent use of imagery. He didn't stop talking about how much pain this man was going through. Evert even said the man had come up with a scenario to cut his arm off, but he waited in hopes that someone would find him or he would just die because the pain would be to strong to deal with. Right there, he is putting himself before anything because that is what we are taught from a young age. Just as he is about to die he sees a young boy and knows it is his son that he does not yet have. He decides to cut his arm off for a child that isn't even born yet. He doesn't even have a wife to bear him this child. Love was put first as I literally saw this man suffer and cut his own arm off. The abduction story is a use of figurative language. After being used for her body, the little girl felt she didn't deserve a life of love. She would rather live in other peoples waste than deal with the garbage someone thrust upon her. I can't say I don't blame her, but I've never been in that kind of situation either; all I can do is pity this poor girl. Evert didn't use much sensory techniques to describe this situation because he didn't need to. It's easy to pick up that this girl had enough pain to live with for endless lifetimes.
The best thing about this presentation is that I couldn't really tell when Evert was making a shift in his message. Of course, he did make them, but each shift was to build on his last story. He never struggled with that. The message became more and more powerful, for me, by him doing so. I loved that he mentioned online dating. It's not possible, even though many people seem to think it is. Texting and actually being in someone's physical presence is like ice and fire. Anyone can say anything and be anyone they want over texting, but there is a certain chemistry that takes place when two people are with each other. I'll use a personal experience as an example. Pine of my friends was dating this older guy from Erie, and he had a brother our age. She "set me up" with him over texting. We skyped a lot, and I thought I like him until I actually met him. He didn't know how to be quiet in a movie theater, for one, and I felt myself pushing away from him. This probably sounds crazy, but something just didn't feel right with him. So when he asked to hold my hand I told him "no, that's okay." He kept insisting until I said "No, seriously. I'm good." I can't blame him for being persistent. He made a few comments about me being shady and another word I will not say on Facebook after I avoided him all weekend, but I'd rather be honest with the both of us than out myself in a situation that I couldn't wait to get out of. Texting, and even skyping, is way different that meeting a person and liking the person they are when spending time with each other.
Over all, I really loved this podcast. I didn't want it to end either because it was so informative and funny! As a girl, I do over analyze everything when I should just go with my gut feeling and call it a day. That was definitely the best part. I loved hearing how he described how girls react to guys and cheating because he was on point. Some of us rather lose our dignity to keep a guy around because a physical part has been exchanged with him. This was really interesting, and I do believe every teen should hear this. However, listening to it in out theology class won't create the same affect.
DeleteKaitlin,
DeleteThe thing I also got out of the talk was the fact that although it was long, he never forced his opinions on us. He simply used real life examples and visible things, like 127 Hours, to help depict his real meaning he was attempting to get across. The imagery in 127 Hours was unreal. It really showed how a little bit of faith and true love can get you through anything. Evert always continued on with his talk; he never stopped at the end of one story in order to go into the next one. I think this really helped him in avoiding any obvious shifts. I really enjoyed how you put in a personal story because it added to the overall effect that was being portrayed. I think most teenage girls in today’s world have a story similar to yours which is really sad. People put on a mask and only show us what they want us to see. It’s terrible and I personally think it does nothing but waste the time of both individuals. I don’t think you’re alone with the whole over analyzing thing, I’m pretty sure more than half the female, teenage population thinks that way especially when it comes to relationships and connections with the opposite sex. I have to agree with your comment on listening to the video in theology class would not have the same effect as it did. Good work!
Kaitlin,
DeleteYour first analytical paragraph I completely agree with. The 127 hour story was truly a imagery etched story. I feel foolish that I had completely dismissed that story, and forgot about it when writing this blog. Once I had read that over in your blog I almost had to give myself a "v8". Then I don't remember the abduction story perhaps I'll have to listen to the podcast again. Your third paragraph was truly ideal to discuss. Living in the modern age everything we do is focused around a computer at some point. This is where everything comes together and where we tend to over exaggerate everything. All of your points in that paragraph centralize around the computer. Overall, great great blog this week Kaitlin. You have come a far way since the beginning of the year, looking forwards to the next.
Wow. That’s all I could think of for about half an hour after I finished listening to Jason Evert’s talk “How to Date your Soul Mate.” This wasn’t due of the overall message of chastity because I’ve heard that message multiple times throughout my ten plus years of Catholic education. I was so more so surprised by the overall lack of knowledge when it comes to what is right in a relationship and what it means to be both a proper lady and a real gentleman. Evert related to the audience, I included, by speaking in a way that gave real life examples that were easily understood and relatable; if that sentence made any sense. For example, he mentioned girls sitting together in a bedroom and discussing the possible budding of a relationship between one of them and a guy. Coming from a girl perspective, I have been guilty of doing this many times with my friends.
ReplyDeleteThe main thing that hit me the hardest was actually hearing the confirmation of what relationships are coming to in this day and age. I mean people have been saying that things aren’t as they used to be when our parents were younger, but I never realized that the extent was quite this bad. Besides just men not having a date planned out after they ask someone out on said date, neither of the two “dress up” and go through all of the other formalities that used to exist. The concept of coming to the front door and ringing the bell has been completely diminished and replaced with a simple text saying something as uncomplicated as “here.” A real gentleman would come to the door, meet the parents, compliment their date, and do some, if not all, of the things mentioned in the talk. Though males acting like a gentleman and females acting like ladies, relationships could exist on levels more than just sexual pleasure and convenience. On these deeper levels, the two could avoid entering into a “relationship searching for a love that only God c[ould] give [them].”
The examples and general discussion during the talk created a tone that while not being completely serious and grave was also not light and playful. Evert spoke of the strength required to stand up and stick by what you think is morally right. He stated towards the beginning that there’s a difference between say a male waiting for his girlfriend to have sex with him and waiting with her. It took me a little while to understand what this truly meant. It was not until the story about the high school couple where the father told the boyfriend to just be friends with his daughter that it really stuck me. He prayed to God the night their relationship “ended” that if he is the right guy for her to somehow allow them to end up together but if there was someone that was better for her then they should have her because he only wanted the best for her. It’s incredible that he could have so much faith in God and such a strong bond of love and care for one person that he put his own happiness aside to satisfy hers.
The shift in the talk was between the ‘what to do’s’ and the ‘what not to do’s’. I was not as surprised as I probably should have been when Evert mentioned how girls should not wear bikinis. The statement, however, did make me think of times today. How is wearing a girl wearing a bikini any different than her going out in public in her bra and underwear? It’s not. Girls dressing skimpy and immodestly only encourage guys to look at them lustfully rather than in a loving manner as a child of the Lord like they should be viewed as. Males tend to look at girls that dress in overly short shorts or high skirts and belly shirts or low cut tops as some sort of “thing” rather than the person they are. Mrs. Messineo has always said that the best place to meet someone is on a march like the March for life or at some sort of religious function because odds are that the two of you will share the same beliefs and have similar morals. The fact that Jason Evert met his wife at one of his chastity talks in the Dominican says a lot about how love can still be pure even if society tries to make what we know is wrong, seem right. He discussed how couples live together before they’re married to see if they can work out before making that final commitment but he states that men and women “are not compatible”.
DeleteJason Evert touches hundreds upon hundreds of people with talks such as “How to Date your Soulmate.” These talks don’t consist of a vast vocabulary, lectures, and guilt tricks. He tries to make teenagers and adults alike realize that they can be true to themselves by strengthening their relationship with God and getting to know who they are before attempting to be with someone else. Towards the end of the talk, Evert expressed that the main problem is that our relationship with the Lord is not strong enough and therefore we are not strong enough to stand up against the intense temptations that try and get us to turn away from our morals and beliefs we have set in place. He said that “to talk to god rather than talk about Him” is the way to truly loving yourself, your significant other, and the being that created both of you out of pure love.
Jessica,
DeleteYour second paragraph was on point! It honestly makes me sad that relationships are not all about loving each other and not changing who you are just for that one guy or girl. Where is the romance? Dead, that's where. It frustrates me to think that girls succumb to such a lack of gentlemenness in a guy. As Evert pointed out, when you become closer to your partner, you should become more like yourself. Yet so many people change to try to impress someone or to make them stay or whatever. Ughh! Sorry for my little rant, it just frustrates me so much! I liked that you mentioned the difference between a guy waiting for a girl to be ready to have sex and waiting with her. I feel like knowing the difference when you are in a relationship is so important because you shouldnt want to be with someone who is constantly waiting for you to say yes. Overall, this was an awesome blog, Jess! Keep it up!
All I can say to that podcast was that is so true. Jason Evert made amazing points in this podcast/recording on dating in today's world and relationships in general. Now that I have heard this and looked in like an outsider; all of his points are valid and easily seen. However, when I step back in and see society as in an insider it seems to be in valid. Just like when we see everything that we want to see, and not the truth of the situation. So many teenagers aren’t actually looking for a person to date in long term, like a possible spouse, instead they are looking for someone to use as a symbol of an achieved status. Although there are some that are looking long term, most others see their significant other as nothing more than an achieved status in the social structure that is high school. Jason Evert’s podcast is something I feel the entire high school population would benefit from listening to, if they truly cared.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started to listening to the podcast all I could think was “Oh great a boring lecture that id fall asleep during.” However, I was greatly mistaken Evert’s tone suddenly caught my attention I was mesmerized like I was a snake in a snake charmer street show. His points weren’t solely faith based ideas; his points with some scientific background were quite refreshing. The only reason I say this is after being pumped full of Catholicism all week with everything being solely based on faith can make even a devout Christian nauseous. I also found his earliest point of “intimacy with both God and our significant other” very captivating. It truly framed much of his argument/discussion that we have to be in a “three-way” relationship of ourselves, our significant other, and God. This was a large point in the closing off his podcast, to enjoy our single time as we develop ourselves. Also the idea of single time, according to Evert, is to fully develop our relationship with the world, our family, our friends, and God. Then once we find that relationship we don’t let anyone mess with it that we let into our lives. I believe the term he used was “missionary dating,” dating someone in order to change them for what you see as better.
The one thing that I found most amazing was his serious yet comedic routine, of his personal experiences and others who he had talked to about a similar topic. As the only guy in a class of girls I guess I have to point out something’s that were very true in this podcast. First, when he talked about giving the guys “specifics” it is very true. We don’t exactly care to figure out every little aspect of your words, like any innuendos or play on words. Also whenever a guy doesn’t necessarily care to talk he often doesn’t want to come off like an utterly complete fool. There isn’t exactly a textbook on what a guy is supposed to say or do in a relationship, so sometimes you have to be patient.
Devyn,
DeleteYou also had a great blog this week! I really enjoyed how you pointed out that this podcast was captivating. It really is. His voice and everything he says draws his listeners in. I loved it! Jason Evert is amazing how he can make a joke here and there, but doesn't go to far to joke about sex or the body like Felicia mentioned. Since we are all girls, we know that what he says about our over analyzing is completely true, but none of us really realize how hard it is for guys to think outside of the box. We all want that fairy tale boyfriend, even though there really isn't a guy out there that we want. So thank you for confirming his advice to be true. Again, great blog this week. We both have come a really long way since our first blogs.
Devyn,
DeleteYour comment on how high schoolers use their "significant other" as symbols of status and accomplishments is blunt and true. I never thought about it too deeply, but it is sad and almost depressing that people find it necessary to obtain a boyfriend or girlfriend so that they can be seen as "desirable" by others. In truth, I find that this is one of the major problems today with society and its view of self worth. Like you said though, this speaker really is enchanting, and it makes you want to listen to him forever. I really liked it and learned a lot.
Good insights into the podcast Devyn!
Devyn,
DeleteYou felt the same way I did! Sometimes I get so sick of people telling me how to live by my faith when they don't really want to teach me how to apply it to real life situations. Jason Evert's talk felt real and intimate, as if he meant and understood everything he was explaining. His tone, like you said, also played a huge role in this because he was not attempting to condemn anyone for the way we handle relationships today. Rather, he was revealing the path to success as he sees it. Another important fact was that he understood that love of God alone could not keep a relationship together. Like you said, it is a three part relationship and Evert illustrated this by referencing the couple he knew that was divorced despite their prayer. The problem in their relationship was that they did not communicate with one another. In other words, although God is obviously an important aspect of our lives and relationships we cannot expect to remain with our partner if we do not put in any one-on-one effort.
I admit I was interested in reading your blog because you are the only guy in the class; I wondered if you would have a different reaction to this. You seemed to react the same way as we did and I wonder if that is because the difference in message comes not for different genders but for people with different morals or relationship history. You, like all of us, go to a Catholic school and go to mass once a week so we are all familiar with the idea of a chaste and respectful relationship. The difference in the way the Church presents it and the way Evert presents it, however, is that Evert used real life stories to create a better understanding for his audience as to why it is necessary to be chaste and respectful of yourself and your partner rather than just saying that making love before marriage is wrong. Not many teenagers respond well to the whole "no, that's bad" or "you shouldn't do that." But Evert not only paints a picture of a relationship we would like to one day have, he offers the idea of repentance and forgiveness so we know that the idea of a moral and loving partner is never truly out of reach as long as we understand ourselves and God.
You did a nice job this week. I found that we all mostly came to the same conclusions but that what we ultimately drew from the presentation was effected by our past relationship experiences. Nice analysis and I enjoyed how your opinion was apparent through the whole blog.
Hello, Devyn!
DeleteLike Kaitlin, Hannah, and Ann, I was drawn to your post this week due to the fact that you are the only boy in our class. I was curious to see if your reaction would differ from mine, but it seems as if most of the class had the same reaction. In my opinion, it can be hard to talk to someone else, especially teach and advise someone, in a theological manner. I know that my relationship with God is undoubtably different than yours, or anyone else's for that matter. However Evert went about his podcast through a different approach. I was pleasantly surprised, much like you were.
I must admit, I was prepared for some fights on your post this weekend! Through Evert's talk, he mentioned a lot of things about a woman's body, and I was unsure of how you would react to that but you seemed to have responded in an appropriate way, which I really appreciate. Im glad you enjoyed the podcast!
In all honesty, listening to someone who I don’t know talk about “soul mates” is not something I was really looking forward too. I think that the idea of love and “soul mates” is not what it once was, and I’m not too sure that it’s something I really believe in anymore. However, Jason Evert immediately captured my attention and held it throughout the whole podcast. Evert opened with a prayer, followed by a story of an elderly couple of a woman with Alzheimer's, and an understanding, loving husband. As some of you may know, my grandmother has recently passed after battling Alzheimer's and Dementia for far too long. The story that Evert opened with reminded me of my grandparents, and their love for one another. Immediately, I was captivated. Evert did an amazing job at capturing my attention, as well as the attention of the rest of his audience.
ReplyDeleteAs this was a religious podcast, I was expecting the main focus to be on “sex” and similar things as well as remaining chaste. I was pleasantly surprised. While the topic was brought up, I felt as if Evert spent an appropriate amount of time on the subject in comparison to the other points he mentioned. Throughout the years, we have all watched multiple videos in theology class on staying chaste and why it is important, but Evert took a different, unexpected approach that I found interesting. I loved how he spoke of a woman's body, and how it is not only important that the woman respect herself but the man respect her body as well. We are all made in the image and likeness of God, and it’s about time we recognize this.
In my own personal opinion, Jason Evert had a very nice speaking voice that made me want to listen. He spoke at a good speed and he enunciated very well. His tone was very calm, casual, and friendly as he dropped a joke every now and then as well as dating “tips.” Evert even got the audience involved, asking for a show of hands as well as calling out to a specific man, “blue shirt, third row!”, in the audience. He was very confident in what he was saying and what he was essentially teaching without giving off a cocky attitude. About halfway through his talk, his tone took a slight turn that would not have been noticed had I not been looking for it. Slowly, Evert began to get more serious and sentimental. His change of tone was so subtle, yet completely serious. He made it a point to include no jokes when referring to sex, or a persons body. Neither of these two things should ever be approached in a joking manor, and Evert made that very clear.
One of my favorite things about the podcast was how understand it all was. Nothing that Evert had said left me thinking “wait, what?” Rather, I found myself agreeing with most, if not all, of what he had said. His podcast was formed around “ten strategies,” and with every strategy he said he gave vivid stories and examples and descriptions. While his talk was listened to rather than watched, I did not feel that he lacked a visual element as his words were so effective in physically and mentally describing what he was saying. It was almost as if I could see the situations, if that makes any sense. After finishing the pod cast, I felt like I had sat down with Evert and had a personal, one on one conversation with him. Honestly, I was kind of sad when it was over. As the Bible says, “I am the beginning and the end,” Jason Evert ended his talk the same way he began it, with a prayer to God.
Felicia,
DeleteGreat blog this week! I loved this podcast and everything Jason Evert had to say. You began with saying that soul mates are not the same as they were years ago. I completely agree with you, but after listening to Evert he changed my mind. It is possible! I really want what he described, as I hope all of you do. I also found that a "soul mate" isn't someone you spend you life with. I have many "soul mates," and having one that is really sick right now is really hard for me to deal with. I love her to death, and I haven't prayed this hard in a long time. Even though she is sick, I'm becoming closer to God praying for her. I think you feel that same way with your grandmother passing, which I am so sorry about. I too agree with everything Evert had said. Great job!
Felicia,
DeleteI really think that this talk is someone that everyone our age should have to listen to because I agree with you, soul mates have been made into something more of convenience than our of hard work. I also enjoyed his story about the elderly couple because I felt like that gave a good insight into what his talk was going to be about. As you said, Jason Evert had the perfect strategy for giving a talk such as this one, refraining from jokes when a sensitive and dignified subject arose. He kept the talk interesting with his funny, but relevant anecdotes and continuously made points that held more logic and scientific fact than preachings from the Bible. While I think that it is important to include the Bible in such talks, I find that the strategy of using mostly Biblical references leaves someone feeling stifled in Their religion. I really liked that about this talk because I never once felt that way.
Good insight Felicia!
I'm going to honest and admit that I was not looking forward to listening to this podcast. All I could think was here we go again, another Catholic lesson. But, I learned so much from Jason Evert's "How to Date Your Soulmate." He discussed ten strategies to live by when it comes to relationships. As he noted in the beginning, we are always taught what not to do rather than what to do. I think that causes people, teenagers especially, to become rebellious and stray from their faith. Evert did not come right out and say that these guidelines are what every person should follow, but after hearing them said aloud and supported with real stories, you cannot help but want to follow them. The diction that he implemented into his talk allowed it to be very informal yet informative. He did not use big words; he kept it simple and clear. Every single strategy included an anecdote or two, and I felt that that made each one seem realistic. It is easy to flat out say a list of things to follow, but it is another thing to provide experiences that either show how they work or why you need that list. Evert also mentioned how you should place your trust in God, but you also need to trust your partner. As he noted, some relationships fail because there is a lack of discussion between the two people since they rely too much on God's work. Relationships require effort from both God and the two people wanting it to work out.
ReplyDeleteI felt as though each anecdote presented was perfectly fitted into the discussion. I could actually picture each scene, especially the one dealing with the elderly husband and wife driving. Every few minutes the wife asked where they were going again due to her Alzheimer's. The husband never got tired of her asking the same question, and he replied each time as though it were the first. This story made me realize the kind of love I desire, as well as a lot of people do. Personally, though, I find the word "love" to be overused and undermined. Also, people don't have seek relationships because they want a spouse. Some people do, but a lot are only looking to hook up or to have a good time for a little while. Marriage is not usually the first topic on someone's mind when they meet a potential partner. In fact, Evert mentioned that he and his friends dated several women who they thought were going to be their wives, but they did not work out. This experience that he shared coincided with the fact that a physical intimacy like sex makes it much more difficult to know if that one person is your soulmate. Intimacy is such a unique experience with a person, and I feel like you should want to share that with only your soulmate. Love conquers all, and you can honestly overcome anything when motivated by love. Take Evert's story about the 127 hours, for example. That man considered cutting off his arm, but he didn't at first. It was not until he saw a vision of a boy who he knew was going to be his son one day that he had the courage and strength to cut off his arm in order to survive. He had so much love for that child who did not even exist yet. I found that story to be quite compelling, and it reminds me that there is still hope in the world.
Evert's words flowed in his in the presentation. He shifted between seriousness and experiences that lightened the mood. You could only tell when he was going into the next strategy because he literally said that the next step is, blah, blah, blah. I think that it is important to be able to go into a presentation and be able to do that. As I said before, the experiences that he shared really made his presentation what it is. Evert was talking to a large group of college students, and I found that his messages were aimed for that age category. You have to know your audience, and I liked that he interacted with them. Had he left out the stories and jokes, he probably would have lost the attention of a lot of the audience. I know I would not have been intrigued if it weren't for those shifts. The biggest shift in his discussion though was when he switched from the do's and do not's. I felt as though the do not's were a bit more serious, but I still think he managed to keep it smooth and interesting. I was not expecting to hear any do not's as he said at the beginning that we are always taught what not to do, but his guidelines are by far the best I have ever heard. Evert was honest in his words, and he was no afraid to hold back. He talked a lot about modesty with girls, but he also mentioned that guys need to control their thoughts. It is a two way interaction, and both sexes need to realize that. The shift between one step and the next helped me realize that each one is related to the others, and once you follow one you can gracefully follow the next.
DeleteI am in still in awe after listening to that presentation. This presentation so much different from what I imagined. I did not expect to want to hear more from Evert. His discussion really opened my eyes to what I should look for in a relationship. I don't to be one of those girls saying that it is just "a thing." I think my favorite "do guideline" was to know your standards ahead of time. If you know that there are traits about a person that don't live up to what you want in life then maybe you shouldn't waste your time. As Evert said, a lot of people think they can change a person so they stay in the relationship. Change is so difficult to achieve, and unless that other person wants to change, then you cannot actually make a person change. Even when things don't work out, don't lose hope. Not in yourself, not in God, not in anything.
This weekend has been filled with irony for me, this blog included. I got two emails in a row, and when I looked at them, one was the DISCLAIMER from Mrs. Messineo, and the other was my email from Lighthouse Catholic Media with my new talk to listen to. Ironically, what was the talk inside? "How to Love Your Soulmate" by Jason Evert. So, for someone like me who normally says "No thank you. I'm way to busy to deal with your silly, boring talk." It was nice to fibe forced to actually listen to one. I've gotta say, I needed this talk. While I have no technical "relationships" I always have guy friends who are often in the "It's complicated." area of the dating realm. Listening to Jason Evert talk on such a sensitive and awkward subject in the manner that he did was actually very calming and reassuring for me.
ReplyDeleteFor the entirety of this talk, I felt like the diction in it was perfectly chosen. He used words like compassion, patience, dignity, and other words that normally might sound stuffy and overused in Catholic talks. But for his use of them, he made them into something new. He would use his humor to describe a situation where this value was either in jeopardy or in which it was perfectly portrayed, however, either option wasn't forced as a huge lesson. It was like he simply placed in front of you as a sample. Try this for a minute and we'll see how it works for you. If it's not right we'll find another solution. While his tone often felt that way, he had a really concrete message where he firmly, yet kindly, placed the reality of the dating world on display. I loved when he used the phrase "missionary dating." Everyone, no matter who you are, knows someone who does this. I, personally, had a friend who did this for her two previous relationships. She dated cheaters and liars, boys (note the specific use of this word and not men) who only wanted one thing from her, that thankfully she refused to give up. It is an excellent rule to live by in a relationship.
Ah transitions. One of my favorite things about speeches. If done well, they can bring a whole new dimension to the talk. And my own favorite types of transitions involve humor, so I was happily pleased with this talk. When he would begin one of his points, Jason would often have some sort of little anecdote, often cute with a "squee" effect to it. Then, he would immediately change into a serious discussion of the reason and logic behind his ten rules for dating. Sometimes, he would even use scientific information to back up his points. I think that the use of these scientific ideas were perfect segues because they were on topics that are often controversial. Men can't help but see women who are dressed provocatively as tools. Women and oxytocin are best friends. These are important things that people need to know before they judge others.
As an individual who struggles with relationships that aren't part of a business environment, this was actual,y a really interesting and thought provoking talk. I hate dating and everything to do with it. Dating causes stress for me because I have no experience with it because I value my education over a social life which can be seen as unhealthy sometimes. However, it has kept me from a lot of heartbreak over the years. But now, when I try to deal with dating, I think that I will keep these ten points in my head as they seem to be good values to have. I really enjoyed this talk and giggled quite a bit through it, and for me that is a sign of a good speech.
Hannah,
DeleteI giggled, too! Despite my not so secret distaste for moral preaching I found Evert's presentation to be enjoyable and even educational. I also mentioned his scientific facts in my blog as you did because the scientific facts were a huge point for me. The fact that the way men are attracted to women and the way women are attracted to men can be scientifically explained made it feel more natural for me. Because of this, I didn't feel as if Evert was trying to condemn anyone - in fact, I felt as if he was practicing the belief that Catholics were supposed to have of God's forgiveness when we repent especially when he confessed that both he and his wife had experienced the same imperfect relationships we see today. This was extremely important to me because my number one problem with religious speeches is that the speaker is either plainly hypocritical or just not someone I can relate to. Evert's humor was delivered in appropriate amounts so as to make his serious message seem even more important and applicable to every person.
What I liked about your blog was that you mentioned your own relationship experience. Sometimes it can be so hard for us to even talk about relationships these days because too often the answer is, as Evert says, "It's complicated." And when he was talking about the college girls sitting in their dorm with their drink and analyzing every little thing a boy has said or done all I could think of was us at lunch! I know we usually tend to talk about books or sports but when the topic does fall to boys I know that I, in particular out of the six of us, tend to dwell on every meaningless detail of every meaningless relationship. What this talk really taught me was that I have to consider how I really feel about boys. Am I willing to die to myself for someone I hardly know just because I am physically attracted to them? But what was so great about this presentation, in my eyes, was that it does have meaning that is both definite and versatile. Although it speaks clearly about having a healthy, respectful, loving, and holy relationship what it has said to me is also different than what it has said to you.
Nice job with your analysis. I agreed with pretty much all of the things you said, especially about the transitions, and I enjoyed that you explained what the speech meant to you. Keep up the good work!
Hannah,
DeleteI must say when I saw the blog this week, I was constantly looking for yours. After seeing your blogs develop for the past parts of the year, I feel that I know your style. You tend to analyze everything to the most detailed aspect, and I find that the most interesting. In this talk Evert discussed a topic that can't always be explained through science. Yet some how we find the ways to explain love through the chemical reactions, and physiological change in our brain/body. These two ideas are what I see when I look over your second and third paragraph, a familiar territory of analysis and science. My favorite part of your blog was not these types of explanations, instead it was your first and last paragraph. These two paragraphs showed a small part of your personality that comes through in these blogs. Great blog as always, Hannah, I look forward to seeing your interpretation of our next blog.
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